Weekend Shopping

You've probably already figured out that I love shopping the close-out stores. Every experience is like an adventure in bargain-shopping. My favorite is still Marc's but Mariella and I visited a Deal$ yesterday and they might give Marc's a run for their money - even if that money is used to buy things WAY below retail.

Here are some of the off-brand treasures we found:

Mariella asked, "Why 51?" And I couldn't think of a good reason - maybe it's so you have a spoon for every state in the union and one when you go to D.C. aka Chocolate City.

Found this in the "music section" which is a small fraction of an aisle. I had never heard of King Pleasure. But I could've bought this whole album for the cost of one song on iTunes.

Another musical find: You know Lynyrd Skynyrd but have you heard of Skin Yard?

These alphabet erasers double as puzzles. They actually seem pretty cute until you realize the "A" wants to eat your soul!

Blue Blockers

Does dressing like a senior citizen mean that I'm ahead of my time? I bought these awesome specs at Marc's for $.88. Mariella hates them, which makes wearing them even more fun. I'm such the trendsetter.

More Maya & Zeke antics

We went for dinner on Sunday with Karen and family to the Rusty Bucket in Solon (try the wrap with the cucumber salad.)

Maya ordered milk. It came in a cup with a lid and I asked Maya (4) if she wanted a milkshake. I picked up her milk and shook it and told her that now it was a milkshake. She told Karen to keep the milk by her so I couldn't shake it. And when the waitress came by Maya ratted me out and told her that I made her milk into a milkshake and had the waitress tell me to stop it. What a snitch.

After dinner, I put both of my hands behind my head as you would when lying on a hammock. I looked over at Zeke (1) and he was doing the same thing. He put his arms down when I did. He thought it was hilarious. I forgot about it and did it again later and sure enough he was at the end of the table aping me again. What a nut.

Sarver's bachelor party

My buddy John is getting married next weekend to our friend Kyle (She's a girl.) So last Saturday was his bachelor party. We went and golfed at Turkeyfoot Lake - in the heart of pleasure land. Not a bad course. (I won closest to the pin.)

After that we went to his parent's beautiful home on the shores of Turkeyfoot Lake - it's much nicer than the name implies. We grilled out and went on the pontoon boat for a fishing derby. The boat I was on caught a grand total of 4 fish - including the lunker pictured below. And the other boat caught about 37.

Then we went back to the house and played poker. It was a good time but had you told me in college that was what Sarver's bachelor party was going to be like, I would've never believed you.

How much for the old ones?

Sidewalk Chalk Arms Race

Karen & Kevan were in town last week with Maya & Zeke. It's been nice outside so Mom and Maya were drawing on the driveway with chalk. They were drawing their houses. Here's mom's house:

I got into the action and drew my castle on the hill that overlooks their neighborhood. Maya said that's where all the monsters live. Mom drew a giant alligator to protect their village. So I drew a flying, fire-breathing dragon to protect my territory. The put up a wall to stop my dragon.

Plus, they drew a tyrannosaurus that breathes water to counterbalance my dragon.

I told them that I didn't want to be on their side of the wall anyways. My side was much nicer. It's so nice that Santa Claus lived on my side. (That's why my castle has a chimney.)

Maya said that Mariella didn't want to live in my castle, so she drew an apartment for her. It was purple and had no doors or windows.

Jesus horses

I need a new band

For my birfday, Mariella got me tickets to the Father's Day Barenaked Ladies show. I really enjoy the band although, their last two albums would've made one good one instead of the two mediocre ones. But I digress. Mariella and I went to the show and we had to park in the Christie's Cabaret parking lot - is that irony? We went to find our seats only to learn that we were directly behind two large ladies (and I say that as a large person myself.) The seats at Nautica/The Scene/The Plain Dealer Pavilion are bleacher-style with depressions for your tushy. Not super comfortable when you're wedged in there like sardines. We started sweating as soon as we sat down. And since the opening act wasn't very good we went to walk around. As it turns out pregnant ladies LOVE BNL. You'd think it was an obstetrician office with all the knocked-ups knocking around there.
Also there were TONS of people wearing BNL shirts at the BNL show. Didn't you morons see PCU?! You don't wear the t-shirt of the band when you go to see that band. The fact that you're there tells everyone you like the band. Don't be that guy.
Another thing that irritates me at concerts is people not knowing how or when to throw up the "horns." First off, tuck the thumb or else you're saying "I love you." And even if you're doing it right, YOU DO NOT THROW THEM UP FOR IF I HAD A MILLION DOLLARS! Got that people! It's acceptable to throw them up for Ronnie James Dio and anything else that hard rockin'. Definitely not BNL.
So, while I still enjoy the tunage, I need a new band with a following of like-minded snarky, sarcastic bastards like myself. Any suggestions?

I'm man enough to admit

that this is adorable.

Duct Tape Festival

Every year there's a duct tape festival and I've always been unable to go b/c we've always been on vacation for father's day weekend. Since we didn't use our time share this year, Mariella and I got a chance to experience it.
It reminded me of when Dad used to run the Chanel carnival. I loved it. We were the adopted children of the midway. We got free ride tickets.
Grandma Szczepanik would always come and make sure every grand kid won "the birthday game." You put a quarter on a date on the game board and then the game guy would roll a dice. If you matched the dice, you won a stuffed animal. Mariella and I played the game (I forced her), and we won with "Valentine's Day." It was like Grandma and Dad were helping us out. Mariella selected an excellent pink monkey.
After that we got some of Bayou Billy's Homemade Soda Pop - Sasparilla, we later got a refill of Birch Beer. I think it's a neat business model. Customers buy a tin mug for $5. Every refill after that is $1. They've got a whole assortment of flavors. The mug says that you get $1 refills for life. Mariella didn't like my idea of checking the website and becoming Bayou Billy Groupies - touring the country and following the stand to get our $1 drinks at fairgrounds in exotic locales.
All in all a good time. Although the fireworks could use some improvement.

Louisville Hijinx

Been swamped and unable to blog. Here are the much delayed details from the trip to Louisville. Overall, cool city, lackluster conference. Last year in San Fran set the bar pretty high but this year's speakers were lousy for the most part. There were a few bright spots.

I got down there on Wednesday night and we met Rick from our AAF - Cleveland office. He wanted to go and get a mint julep at some bar/restaurant that refused to serve O.J. Simpson during the Kentucky Derby. We ordered our juleps (when in Rome...) and that was my first and worst mint julep ever. From there we went to the Galt House which just opened a bar on their top floor called Rivue. It looks over the Ohio River. It was quite nice and Rick had a good time messing with our servers mind. He told her that we were there with the tour bus and there were 60 more of us coming up for dinner. She was pretty worried.

After that we went to 4th Street Live - Louisville's hopping outdoor bar district.

They've put a roof up over the street so it would be good even in the rain. It was 10 pm by that point and we hadn't eaten yet. So we went to the Red Star Tavern. It was highly decent. We headed back to the hotel and ran into some friends of ours from W. Va. Who wanted to go out.

We went to 21c Hotel/Museum. It was one of the highlights of the trip. It's a hotel with an incredible Art gallery on the bottom two floors. I really liked the snow globes with horrific scenes in them. They were done by artists named Walter Martin and Paloma Munoz. They also had some cool interactive installations.

(That's an execution scene in there.)

Rick and I made an early exit and hoofed it back the hotel.

The conference started on Thursday. It was weirdly scheduled. I couldn't go to all of the sessions that I wanted to b/c some of the start times overlapped meetings I was in.

And another thing about these conferences - there are cocktail hours galore plus hospitality suites all over the place. It's amazing that anything that anything gets done at these things.

Thursday night we went to eat at the Maker's Mark Bourbon Restaurant. It wasn't that good. Some of the people I was with ordered the sampling flights of bourbon. The waitress explaining how to taste bourbon to us unsophisticated clods was mighty amusing. I told them that they should just pour them into one glass and shoot the whole thing. I had some salmon with what I assumed was mashed potatoes. But when I took a forkful I found they were full of these little twigs of something. I asked the waitress about the potatoes - apparently they weren't potatoes at all but rather pureed celery. Gross. From there we rushed back to the sports bar in our hotel in time to watch the Cavs drop game #1.

Friday, one of the highlights of the conference was the students from the University of Minnesota who had won the National Student Advertising Competition. Their pitch was for Coca-Cola and it was phenomenal.

The "business" part of the conference ended early that day so that we could go to Churchill Downs to watch some horseracing. Rick (as per usual) dressed in costume - this time as a jockey.

Rick's wife Connie flew into Louisville Friday morning and surprised him. So we went back to Rivue to show her the view. Some of our AAF friends came along for the evening. For dinner we went to Caviar - a Japanese steakhouse located on West Muhammed Ali Blvd. I had some sushi. One of the items was called the Crunch Munch. It was very good. The menu mentioned their Private Room - I'm sorry - The Rrivate Room [sic]. From there we went to 4th St. again and did some hard core people watching.

Saturday, we had to accept our award for being named Ad Club of the Year. Go Cleveland! I was proud to wear my LeBron jersey (b/c as of that point we thought the Cavs still had a shot.) We putzed around town after that, visiting the Louisville Slugger factory and several other attractions.

I wore my jersey to the national ADDY awards. One of our friends overheard two ladies in the lobby early on in the event.
WOMAN 1: I don't know what to wear.
WOMAN 2: Me neither. But there's some guy up there in a LeBron jersey.
WOMAN 1: Wow.
WOMAN 2: It's an Ohio thing.

Whatever. Our teams aren't typically good. We haven't won a championship since '64. I'm going to wear my jersey as much as I can.

The National ADDYs were actually pretty good. The work was better than last years and Joe Piscipo (the host for the second year in a row) wasn't as terrible as I was expecting. From there we went to the 6th district hospitality suite which wasn't really hoping. So we went to bed, caught our plane Sunday morning and returned home.

Going south with Boobie

I'm heading to Louisville for the AAF National Convention. Should be good. I'll be flying Cavs colors pretty much the whole time.

Dollar Dog D'oh!

Mariella went to the Tribe game with friends on Friday. I had other crap going on and didn't get a ticket but my event was shorter than I expected so I went to get a ticket and meet her. All they had left was $20 standing room only?! (Cleveland apparently loves it's dollar dogs.) And it was already the 5th inning.

Looks like that prison Martha was in.

So I found a spot on the street that let me see home plate. I watched the game for an inning or two and headed to a bar to see it "all" on TV. The Tribe was losing so Mariella came to meet me outside for the postgame fireworks.

Well, long story short - she missed an amazing comeback and a 12-11 Tribe win.

DE-TROIT (sucks at) BASK-ET-BALL!

So, the Cavs did it.

Cleveland is freaking out.

It was awesome to see them beat Detroit. No one thought they could (myself included.) But most of the Detroit team is a whining bunch of sissies. I'm annoyed by pretty much every player on the roster:

Rip Hamilton AKA glass face. Frankly, he should NOT be allowed to wear a facemask. He broke his nose when? Two seasons ago? It's an unfair advantage. He can go to the hoop without any regard for his face. Why not put both teams in full pads?

Rasheed Wallace AKA Mr. Angry. It was awesome to see the Cavs get his ire up. Although apparently that's not hard

Tashaun Prince AKA that sickly kid from the Simpsons. I don't like him b/c he's too good - make that was too good.

But let's not focus on the losers. We're going to the Finals!

I created a new shirt to watch the game in.

I'm going to be in Louisville for the first view games, but I'm definitely packing my Cavs jersey.

Lookout, Spurs. King James doesn't fake the funk on nasty dunks and all that rigamarole.

Long (and tiring) Weekend

It was a great weekend. I'm exhausted.

Friday - Worked. Went with the new guys (Mark and Wes) to a bar near our office. I'd been there before. It's a dive but never have I had an experience like this. As we were walking into the establishment some woman asked if any of us were single because she's ready to mingle. We said no and headed inside hoping this would be the end of the interaction with her but it turns out that she's the bartender. The only guy in there was a creepy dude in a cowboy hat. And then a gaggle of girls sauntered in. The bartender told that we were in luck b/c she had strippers there tonite and pointed to the girls - who fit the stripper mold in dress only and seemingly walked the line between hookers and dancers with a large degree of care. We declined and she said, "Why not it's only p****?" Then the bartender mentioned how drunk she was. Wes started a tab with his credit card. The dude in the cowboy hat went and started rubbing the girls' backs. (I told you he was creepy.) The bartender asked again if we wanted lap dances stating again that it's only pussy. She also mentioned that they have "boobs" and "ass." Prince started blaring from the jukebox. Wes ordered us another round. Then asked for the tab. The bartender couldn't find his card which was weird because we seemed to be the only folks paying for drinks. It turns out that it had fallen out of the cash register drawer and into the cash register. It was mildly amusing watching her struggle to put the drawer back in. We cashed out and Wes and I went to meet Steve (another coworker) at a local horsetrack.

At the track, I lost less than $20. I didn't win at all. I typically bet the exacta (meaning I need to pick first and second place.) Worse odds, better pay-off. It was a good time and we got to try potato-crusted hoakie - which the waitress claimed was a fish. It wasn't delicious or even appetizing but it became the joke of the night and probably the month.

Saturday - Went to my favorite store in the world, Marc's to pick up some flowers for our house. It was pretty crowded everyone had the same idea I did apparently. I went inside for various sundries and got into a checkout line. The line was pretty long but the dude working the register was amazing. He was like a flair bartender except he intoxicated people not with alcohol but rather his speedy technique of handling and bagging the wares. Toothpaste went end-over-end into the bag. My strawberries were bagged delicately but with the speed of Mercury. And in series of quick motions. the parcel was double-bagged and landed on the counter. One of the other cashiers called him "Flash." His peach-fuzzed mouth broke into a wide smile at the mention of the nickname that he both earned and loved. It was incredible.

I brought my purchases home and began to work on getting an enormous stump out of our front yard - manually. The thing is at least 2 feet in diameter. I hacked at it for several hours not accomplishing much except to make it look like Mordor from the Lord of the Rings.

Then Lisa and Mike arrived with the boys. Mariella came over and we grilled up some turkey burgers and played some Wii, which Henry is scary good at.

On Sunday, Mariella and I went to our friend Christy's 30th birfday party at some Irish pub and watched the Cavs beat Detroit. (Eat it, D-town!)

Then Monday, was Memorial Day and we went and cooked out over at Grandma's. It was weird because typically we'd go over in the morning with mom for the parade. Dad would've stayed at home working on the flower beds and tomatoes. He would show up just in time for Grandpa to start grilling. I started as Grandpa's grill helper and eventually assumed the role of chef. He'd always comment on what a good cook I was and would tell everyone how well "Marker" had made the burgers. So it was completely weird without Dad and Grandpa.

Arm floods

That's as long as my sleeves are. I've got long arms but this shirt doesn't even come close to fitting right. It said the sleeve length was 34 on the package.

I roll up the sleeves to hide it and look more industrious.

Happy Birfday, Joan!

We went to the Cheesecake Factory to celebrate Joanie Baloney's bday.

And here are some of the pics that come up when you google "Joan Birthday."

Have a backpack this cool, you shall not.

Why didn't I think of this?

Mariellathon

On Sunday, Mariella completed her first (and she claims last) marathon. Luckily, it wasn't the thoroughly confusing 10K. She did it in about 5 hours and 41 minutes. I'm very proud of her. There are somedays that I don't drive 26.2 miles.

Markiella

Every power couple needs a good moniker for the tabloids.
So we've now got ours and the internet domain to match. Visit www.markiella.com for all the wedding updates fit to print.

Weekend Recap

I'm having some sinus issues.

I woke up at 5 am on Friday with a terrible sore throat and throbbing earache. I didn't think I was going to work. I took some theraflu and went back to bed. I woke up at 7 feeling pretty good, so I went to work. It was pretty hectic at work. A bunch of people were out.

We were going to go down to Shelby to see Shane (Mariella had never met him.) But I didn't want to get all the kids sick. So we tabled it until Saturday.

I woke up early on Saturday to fertilize the lawn. (We cancelled our chemlawn contract.) I had bought a seed spreader the day before and I needed to get the tags off. So I broke out the pocket knife and quickly managed to slice my left ring finger open. I was bleeding pretty bad but didn't need stitches. Unfortunately the first bandages I could find were princess ones - thanks, Maya. (I later found a suitably rugged alternative)

I then went to pick up Mariella and Chloe (the dog). We dropped Chloe off at Mariella's parents' house. And found out that her dad had a literal run-in with a steel beam and had six staples on top of his head to close the wound (I noticed first, b/c I'm taller.)

Then we headed to Shelby and hung out all day. Went to Galion for a birthday party for Micah and Mallory (Shane's brother and sister - they're twins!) As usual it's always cool to hang out with my friends, I just wish circumstances weren't what they are.

On Sunday, Mariella and I went on a 6-mile run/bike ride (she ran, I rode. What?! She's training for her marathon) on the towpath. It was beautiful weather and a nice ride. We even saw a blue heron.

Skull and crossphones

We got awesome new phones at work. They're the same ones they have on 24. They do all kinds of cool things. But I managed to improve it. Under the receiver there's a couple of lights that come on if you have a call. And now my phone is bad ass:

Sasha Smash!

Went to the Cavs game Sunday with Mariella, Mary and Vince.

Saw the best Cavaliers play I've ever seen compliments of Sasha Pavlovic.

Spider-man 3

Eh, it was okay.

As a comic book fan it was awesome to see Venom on the big screen. But he was barely in it. And who decided Topher Grace would make a good villain? And who told James Franco that amnesia made you retarded? And what's with all the stupid shots? e.g., Spidey poses in front of the American Flag for no reason before a big action sequence.

Mariella said Harry Osborn is way hotter than Peter Parker. I think Gwen Stacey is way hotter than Mary Jane Watson.

But despite all that it was still pretty good.

How much?!

I paid the most I have ever paid for gas this morning. $3.19 per gallon.

Our Year?!

I'm jinxing it by posting this but as a Clevelander, how can you not be excited?
The Cavaliers are kicking ass in the playoffs.
The Indians are in first place and finding ways to win games they shouldn't.
The Browns are calling last Saturday The Draft.
Could all of our sports teams collide in a giant explosion of success?

Of course not. This is Cleveland. Our motto's "There's always next year."

But what if...

It's a horse, people

Listening to the radio yesterday morning, I heard some newsbite about the upcoming Kentucky Derby and someone mentioned the Barbaro Memorial Fund. Donations are encouraged to help aid the research of laminitis, the hoof disease that plagued Barbaro.
I can get behind any charity that helps ease suffering. Even more so if it's for humans. But having had pets I can understand the attachment to animals. But aren't racehorses typically owned by the rich? You don't hear too much about people choosing between feeding their horse and their family, do you? So shouldn't that research money come from those deep pockets rather than approaching average joes who simply think horses are pretty?
Frankly, I'd rather see donations go to the Red Cross or Cancer Research. Than to help a race horse. Wouldn't that disease have claimed them in the wild anyways?

Bad news

Today's 8 months to the day that Dad passed away. And yesterday I got a chilling phone call. My best friend Shane's father passed away.
Apparently, he was complaining of a headache, went to bed and didn't wake up. Sucks is an understatement. I think he was in his early 50s.
Shane lives out in Arizona, so he's coming in today. I called him yesterday and he said it still seems unreal. He was worried about his mom. Which is pretty close to what I went through in September.
I got to know Shane's dad while at OU. Larry would come down and party with us. Actually the whole family would come down and party with us. He called me "Sharky" (just like everyone else at college) and actually it eventually become shark-I. If your name ended with a long e, he replaced it with a long I. So his wife Judy became Jude-I. So we took to calling him Lare-I.
Larry was always very welcoming to everyone. I always really liked going down to Shelby to visit the Wolfersbergers. CJ and I went down for Shane's cousin Austin's wedding. And Larry invented one of our all-time favorite phrases "Chicken Whammy Jammies" CJ and I were standing around and Larry asked if we had tried the chicken whammy jammies. We hadn't. So Larry made a big production out of it. He got one off the tray (I think they were simply chicken fingers), and he said "watch this, watch my mouth." He put the whole thing in his mouth enjoying it heartily. He kept saying how delicious they were. Finally, convincing us to try them. They weren't as delicious as he made them out to be.
When I talked to Shane, I told him that there was never any doubt that his dad loved his family. And that's more than true. Larry relished in managing the many bands of Micah (shane's youngest brother) including IZENET KOLDOUT, Buzzbucket and I'm sure there's one I'm forgetting. Larry even printed out T-shirts for us once.
You can definitely see Larry in all his children. Shane shares his father's mannerisms and ability to get excited about little things like breakfast. Larry would always make Camper's Quiche and some "steaming java." Shane will make up stupid little songs about random crap, which apparently he got from his Dad.
It's scary that it can all be over so suddenly. Once again another unfortunate reminder to make the most of the time that you're given.
We'll miss you, Larry.

Who's Your Leather Daddy?

NOTE: I'm typing ths entry from home (while my phone recharges) and we've got wireless keyboard which SUCKS! It skips some letters. I'm trying to catch all the hiccups but it's highly aggravating. Please bear with us.
Friday was a pretty good day a work. I went to lunch with some folks near our office. As we were walking to the restaurant, we noticed that there was van unloading "costumes." That's not that unusual. We're located in Playhouse Square (the second largest performing arts center after Broadway.), so there are always productions coming through and unloading seemingly strange items for upcoming shows. The only thing is how would I have not heard about (and made fun of) a musical tribute to the village people? Because that what the outfits seemed to be for. There were military outfits, black leather numbers and a pair of leather hotpants with flourescent yellow piping. The guy I was with said, "Oh, it must be a biker convention." There was a bike parked nearby and a couple of guys with handlebar mustaches but those outfits were a bit extreme even for bikers. So we went and ate and on the way back there were still items being unloaded and my buddy was determined to get to the bottom of this. So he asks a bystander what the deal is. Before the guy answers I notice a vendor unloading her wares, it's a box of patches some of them reading: Leather Girl, Leather Love and Leather Daddy. And we learn that it's Cleveland Leather Awareness Weekend (C.L.A.W. - so that's who was out to get inspector gadget all the time?!). I thought people we're already pretty aware of leather but whatever. And then I remembered that I was downtown last year for C.L.A.W. I was parking to go to the Tribe game when we saw all these older men in shirts without sleeves (some of them sheer), leather pants and the mandatory leather police cap. Frankly, I'm shocked I didn't mark it on my calendar. I learned more about the event from Cleveland Convention &Visitors Bureau:

The sixth annual CLAW takes place April 27-29th in Cleveland at the host hotel, Wyndham Cleveland Hotel at Playhouse Square. The convention itinerary includes a silent auction featuring a wide variety of leather and gear, artwork, and gift certificated for travel, entertainment and other services. CLAW will also feature its second Juried BDSM art show. Field trips include visits to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and Museum, Cleveland Botanical Garden and Western Reserve Historical Society.

I wish I could've been at the botanical gardens for when the ladies-who-lunch crowd ran into the CLAW!

I'm going to put baseball cards in the spokes

After we consulted Fr. Jeff, we went bike shopping and I got an el cheapo from Target. $80!!! Hopefully it doesn't fall apart with me on it. But in case it does, I got a helmet too. Safety first!

I'm debating wearing the helmet to work tomorrow. I look like a dork in it but that's half the fun. Actually, I don't understand the whole helmet craze. [ANGRY OLD MAN RANT STARTS HERE] When I was growing up, no one had helmets. I'm sure there were occasional head traumas, but we survived. I was once screwing around and somehow caught my foot in the front wheel while my bike was moving - causing the whole thing to flip on top of me. It's a wonder I lived through that.

Anyways, the whole bike thing has brought back some childhood memories. I don't actually recall learning to ride a bike but the bicycles themselves were signs of maturity. It was a big deal in my family when you got your first "ten-speed" it meant you weren't tooling around the neighborhood on a "kid's" bike anymore. My first "adult" bike was maroon. But actually I rather enjoyed the hand-me-down bikes from my dad's childhood. I had a gold sparkly schwinn with a banana seat and a gear shifter knob right on the frame. But the ultimate was my Dad's bike. It looks a whole lot like Pee Wee Herman's bike. It's even got a built in horn that required a couple of D batteries. It's a real smooth ride on account of it's giant shocks and tremendous size and weight. And the best part was it was no other kid in the neighborhood had one like it.

We've got a church, a priest and an exact time

St. Rita's, Fr. Jeff @ noon.

See the countdown clock for the big event on the right.

We've got a date

May 10, 2008 @ Todaro's Party Center.

Strange contests

The new spelling bee?

Is there really any skill involved in this?

A beautiful & busy weekend

The weather seems to have finally broke. (I'm sure by posting that I'm guaranteeing a mid-May blizzard).

And it's been gorgeous!

I took a half-day on Friday after a lunch meeting I had previously scheduled.

The terminal tower is now wearing an enormous Cavaliers jersey in honor of the play-offs. Go Cavs!

I went to Bedford to mow the lawn and found that my pear tree is already blossoming. I hope we sell it before I get to try some of those pears. But it's pretty none-the-less.

After mowing that lawn, I got Grandma some gas for her mower. And went home to pick up the other lawn mower so Mom and I could tag team the GIGANTIC Solon rental lawn. It was mow of a pain b/c the mower kept stopping b/c the grass was so long. When I got to the swingset left behind by a prior tenant, I noticed how rusty it was and decided to rip it out - WITH MY BARE HANDS! ROAR! It's quite cathartic to systematically remove a structure that not intended to move.

This being the truly first nice day of the year, I forgot about the damaging power of the sun and didn't put any sunblock on my bald head - resulting in a nasty burn. I fell asleep on the couch and woke up the next day feeling like someone had beaten me up. Mom said the same thing. This landscaping gig is hard work.

When I got up Saturday, I became Don of NY. I beat the Godfather game on wii eliminating all the rival families.

Then I met Greg at the rental to start painting. We went to Wal-Mart to get paint (hey, it's cheap) In the paint section it took us 15 minutes to find an associate to shake our paint. I noticed that all the cans of ceiling paint were dented and had dried paint on the side. I asked if she'd give us a discount because they were damaged.

"Unfortunately, I don't have the ability to do that," she told me as though her Wal-Mart superpowers were limited to telekinesis and doing inventory.

"Well, who can do that?"

"A manager," she retorts.

"Is there one around?" I questioned.

"I can page one," she said staring at me blankly, not moving.

"Would you?"

"Sure."

Now Greg will vouch that's how it went down. Wouldn't a rational person cut the crap and when someone asks for a service that requires a manager, immediately locate a manager? But we're at Wal-Mart, we've got to play by their rules. So she pages a manager. No answer. She pages again this time with "Customer is waiting" tagged on the end. No answer. She pages a third time with an audibly annoyed "customer is waiting." Still no answer.

"Apparently the managers don't want to talk to me today. Take the paint up to one of the people in the red vests at the front of the store and they may be able to help you," she says. By this point, figured Kevin was already at the rental house, which he was. So I wasn't going to wait around for the possibility of a red vester giving me 20% off a $9.43 can of paint. Maybe Wal-Mart should change their tagline to "Always low prices and the service to match."

So, Kev, Greg and I painted pretty much every ceiling we could find. And started on the kitchen. Then I went and traded the Godfather for some emergency room game for the wii, which sucks. I played that for a bit and then went to Mariella's.

We went to the bar at the corner of her street. She's never been there in the 4 years she's lived in her house. It was cool minus all the NASCAR crap (NASCAR: never got it. never will.) The owner gave us a complimentary house shot, the apple pie. It really does taste like apple pie! I'd go back for those. We watched the end of the tribe game (dammit although Hafner CRUSHED that ball) and then Cleveland All Pro Wrestling came on. It was at the same time embarassing yet completely awesome. They've ripped off everything from the WWE right down to the commentators, one badguy and one goodguy. Maybe I fashion myself a costume and try out. Fear the Killbasa and the Polish Boy. (Greg would be the Polish Boy.)

Brownies are the new cupcake

WARNING: Emotional roller coaster of a post.
So, I wake up and check the info. super hwy (because that's how hip, trendy people prefer their news.) and yahoo's front page tells me about brownies popularity.

And I keep reading.

Pretty much all bad news. Blue angel pilot killed. Suicide bomber in Iraq. More on the VT massacre.
Speaking of VT, I was at work when the whole thing happened, editing some videos. My friend Dean's wife called and said there was a shooting at VT. She didn't mention the scale. So I figured it was one or maybe two people. It's strange that school shootings have become so commonplace that we don't really react much anymore.

Also I heard on NPR (I was channel-surfing b/c I didn't want to listen to Justin Timberlake's crappy new song or any number of crappy local commercials), that they've set up a temporary memorial with 33 stones arranged in a semi-circle to remember the victims. One of those stones symbolizes the shooter. If I were a parent or a friend of a victim, I'm not sure how I'd feel about that. Isn't he the reason all those people are dead? Then again, the media's reporting on how he was picked on at school, while I'm in no way condoning killing anyone, kids can be pretty damn cruel. If you woke up every day and knew the kids were going to tell you to go back to China and you're from South Korea or laughed everytime you opened your mouth to talk, you'd likely be a pretty disturbed individual. So maybe it's all of our faults that he snapped. Our society is a particularly kind one. I can remember a number of situations were I could've and should've been nicer to someone. Not that I pushed anyone hard enough to an act of violence but if everyone treated that person the same way, well, who knows? So maybe the shooter does deserve a stone in the memorial. And we should all strive to be a little more polite and outreaching to people.

On the other hand, I was at a happy hour the other day and I saw someone standing near the wall not really talking to anyone, no one had approached this person, so I made the effort to start the conversation. I asked about work, school, hobbies giving my own answers to the questions as well in order to make it seem less like an inquisition and more like a conversation. But you need two to tango. And this person was offering up one word answers to every question and not asking me anything. So there's something to the whole you-can-only-help-those-who-will-help-themselves thing

In lighter news, Yahoo also informs us that a man drowned after apparently copping a feel.

What's wrong with shoe?!

So I'm at the airport waiting for John & Tug, looking at my feet when I noticed how scuffed up my right shoe is. The left looks brand new. I just polished both of 'em. So what's the deal?! How is this even possible?

I'm 3x as excited for this one

Spider-Man 3 opens on May 4th.

They did some second unit shooting outside of our office. I think productivity was pretty low that week. What do you expect? They were crashing cars and dragging Spidey (his stunt double anyways) behind a truck!!!

Here's my friend Josh's blog about the whole awesome week.

This is how I get down

Create Your Own PaloozaHead - Visit Lollapalooza.com

Stuff

Haven't posted in a while. Here's why:
1. Busy at work - which is good.
2. Taxes - hate them.
3. WII - awesome. I came home the other day to find mom playing bowling. Which I find funny. Half the fun of the system is watching people play. Hilarious. Mom's not bad at bowling (my high game: 267) but it took her a while to get the hang of using the wiimote and actually point it at the screen.
4. Ad Fed stuff - I'm prez next year and I got bidness to handle.
5. Easter - Lisa and the gang came in to town. Which was amusing as always. Sammy's new thing is to turn every statement into a question simply by adding "right?" i.e., That's a robot, right? That's a car, right? And you have to answer or he gets upset. It stops being cute after a bit.
6. Wedding planning - looking for halls. Meeting with some guy on Saturday that kept saying "Mama Mia" on the phone. We also looked at the Astrodome of Parma (seriously, that's the name.) I think it's a nice hall. Mariella was a bit underwhelmed. And it's not the most affordable option we've seen. When you're guest list is as large as ours, you really limit your options. But we have seen some nice ones. I told Mariella that even after we're married we ought to pretend like we're still planning and go and sample the food at every hall in town. Free dinners out!

Crappy music from the office next door: update 4.10

Toby Lightman. I asked what it was b/c a crappy rock country song wasn't descriptive enough.

Someone tell Mother Nature that it's APRIL!!!

What the hell?!

Crappy music from the office next door: update 4.5

Opera.

Crappy music from the office next door: update 4.4

It's some new-agey crap. There might be a pan flute in there somewhere. Could be the score to some emotional, crappy movie that people would claim to like b/c it made them seem sophisticated. I keep waiting to hear Celine Dion start singing.

300 - PG Version

This is caketown!

Star Wars Nerds

In my AAF-Cleveland role as 1st VP - Programs, I'm bringing in John and Tug from American Copywriter.

Check out some hilarious commercials they wrote and starred in here.

Unicorn Rap

My friend Chris is the star and author of this. Chris used to be the mascot for our softball team and then he up and moved to NYC. I guess Josh did the music for this.

It's pretty funny and possibly NSFW.

There's definitely something wrong with this kid. And I like it.

Fergit the curveball. Throw 'im the heater.

Today's my 30th b-day and opening day for Major League Baseball.

I'm particularly fired up for the Indians game against the Angels on Tuesday April, 10 because it's Rick Vaughn "Wild Thing" Glasses night. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you're likely a nincompoop.

Awesome.

I'm old.

Today's my 30th birfday.

I'm not really overly concerned.

We did have a good time on Friday. I was pretty surprised by the number of people that showed up. Jen and CJ drove all the way from Columbus. Mariella's friends came but I think it was to see the ring more so than me.

And I did get some nice stuff.

Cards and gifts got shuffled in transit, so I'm not entirely sure I've got the right givers to gifts. Here's my gift haul (in no particular order):

1. $
2. Both new BNL CDs (from Mary and Mariella)
3. A bad ass bowling ball bag with a skull and crosspins from Mariella.
4. BNL tix for their concert this summer from Mariella - I spoiled her surprise when I asked if she wanted to go.
5. One of the most delicious cakes I've ever had from Mariella's parents.
6. An AWESOME silky shirt from Mariella's aunt.
7. Demolition Drivers from Kristen. They are as cool as I had hoped. I can't wait to hammer one through a 2x4
8. 300: the book and a screaming monkey from Kev & Jill (who get more excited than most when mentioned on bflk)
9. A whole bunch of lottery tix.
10. Gift Certificates to Darden Restaurants (from Uncle Dennis), PF Chang's (from Paul, I think whoever gave it didn't sign the card. But they labeled the envelope "Marky" and Paul's one of the few that call me that), Cinemark (from John) and a VISA gift card (from Vince and Carli.)
11. A lucky mini garden gnome from my friend Stacey.
12. Rick and his wife got me a pair of speedos, Being a groom for dummies and a book about being a leader (to prepare me for my presidency.) He also offered to let Mariella and I use his condo in Fla.
13. The biggest surprise in scale and unexpectedness is that Mom, Lisa, Mike and the rest of my family are all chipping in to get me a Nintendo Wii. That is if they can find one - Lisa and Mike have been going to stores when they open hoping for a shipment. And according to Vince they are totally awesome.

I'm sure I left something off. But that's all I can remember right now. I didn't really expect this much stuff. I even asked in the invite that people shouldn't bring gifts but it was very nice of them. And it's all cool. So thanks.

Something missing

It's been a good couple of weeks. I got engaged and Mariella threw me a great birthday party. My family and many friends showed up at DePompei's bar. Work's been pretty cool minus the flood. But I really miss Dad.
It's still strange not having him around to share good news with and call when I have questions. I know that he'd be happy for Mariella and I. I learned this week that he told a friend of his that i'd be engaged by the end of the year. He really liked Mariella.

Frog purse

Mariella and I went shopping at tj maxx. We saw this purse. I was going to get it for mom or mary until I saw the $600 price tag. At tj maxx?!

An interesting quiz

Take it.

A link from my boss

Superhawk

This is a show from Acceptable.tv - Jack Black's new vh1 show/film contest wrapped into one delicious burrito.

It rained today in the creative department

Seriously. We were leaving a department meeting where I had just announced my engagement, when the girl at the front desk said there's a leak in creative. It was more of a deluge than a leak. Ceiling tiles were bursting from the weight of the water.

The entire agency pitched in to grab computers and file cabinets. Fortunately, my office was unaffected. I did grab my laptop and dad's license plate just in case water spread - it didn't.

Poor Kristen's office was the worst.

I used to be able to get away from flooding at work. What the hell, native americans should hire me to bring heap big rain to their crops. I don't even have to dance.

A really long and engaging entry

Yeah. I got engaged on Saturday - to my lovely girlfriend Mariella.

The whole process is a long story and I'm growing weary of telling it. So here it is:

Mariella and I went shopping for rings a while back. Must've been February. I surprised her and we went to Parmatown Mall. Most of the jewelry guys at the mall stores were D-bags. Everything was very expensive and pretty much every store had the same stuff. And actually the guy at JB Robinson's was rather refreshing. He didn't try to upsell us and just answered a bunch of questions we had. He actually steered us away from the more expensive platinum option. He even wrote Mariella's style preferences and ring size on the back of a business card. Which I promptly lost (this comes into play later.)

On March 10, I went to the Jewelry Factory in N. Randall. They have these ANNOYING TV commercials that shows the entire staff awkwardly waving at the camera at the end. Their prices are much more reasonable than the mall stores. I must've sent the sales guy back to the vault about 15 times to get different diamonds. I was looking for pretty darn close to perfect. I found a diamond I liked and picked out the band that Mariella had liked - white gold cathedral flat. (I remembered that part.) I wasn't sure of her size. I thought it was 6.5 but wasn't sure. So I called Mariella feigning that I had been talking to my sister Mary about ring sizes and Mary said that she was a 6.5. I allegedly told Mary that was impossible b/c her hands are much bigger than Mariella's, right? Mariella confirmed that was in fact her ring size so I was set. The guy was ringing me up and the manager (I think) came over and looked at what he was doing and said that the price on the band was wrong. That was the old price from the old book and the actual price was $21 dollars more. The salesguy apologized and explained was using the old book. They asked what I wanted to do, "I said I'm not happy about this but what choice do I have?" The "manager" took $9 dollars off my bill splitting the difference. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! I'm dropping several thousand dollars on this purchase and you're going to dick me on twenty bucks?! What the hell. But the diamond was one of the best I'd seen and seemed to be reasonably priced so, I bit the bullet and my tongue.

So I got the ring several days later and didn't really look at the band in the store. I was more interested in the rock. Upon further inspection, I noticed a mark on the band, so I took it back and they fixed it.

Mariella's birthday is March 15. I didn't want to do it on her birthday. That's too cliche. My birthday is April 2. Didn't want to do it then either. So I decided to do it on April 1 - April Fool's Day. I even went to Claire's and got a BIG fake ring. I was going to ham it up with that one and then give her the real one.

So on March 15 we went to her mom's for Mariella's birthday dinner. The girls at her work were telling her that they were sure she was getting a ring for her birthday. She wasn't. She correctly told them so. Her little cousin gave her a card that read, "You're old enough to get married. So you should marry Mark." Little did they know that I had the ring at home. I also beat her to her parents' house. So I was hanging out with them before she got there (that comes into play later too)

Mom knew I'd bought the ring. I called to tell Kevin to talk about his experience buying rings too. I told a few people at work. If dad were here, he'd probably have been the only one that I'd have told. But I don't have him physically here as a confidant so I had to confide in others. Well, word spread. I'm fairly certain the majority of my agency knows as does half of AAF-Cleveland. In fact, I was at a luncheon when someone came up to me and said, "I heard what's happening April 1st." It's not as though Mariella has a whole lot of interaction with any of those people except we're having a party for me next Friday, March 30th in honor of my thirtieth. And alcohol loosens lips and loose lips sink ships and ruin my best laid plans. So we had to accelerate my timeline.

Plus, Mariella kept looking at rings in nearly every store we went to. (I told her that she could pick the most expensive ring at walmart.) She and her mother were saving pictures and ads of rings for me. And Mariella found the card with all the ring information on it. She gave it to me a little upset saying that she was glad I was taking this so seriously. I egged her on a bit by overacting, saying I was SO GLAD she found that. Which made her mad. She didn't know I had the ring all along. But it was good to see that I remembered the right style.

On Wednesday, I contacted her brother Vince via email. I needed him to set up a meeting with her Sicilian father - a mandatory step if I ever expected to attend any family events. I really like her father. We're on good terms but by her family's standards I don't talk that much and I've never called their house or stopped over without her. So it would be out of the ordinary if I just show up out of the blue. And her mom has a bit of a hard time keeping secrets. So she couldn't know b/c then her aunt would know and her cousins would know and it was a very realistic possibility that Mariella would her of the engagement from someone besides me. So Vince played a critical role. We brainstormed a few ideas. Dad didn't go anywhere without mom or without her knowing where he was. We determined that it should go down on Saturday. Vince was going to find someway to get his dad to a restaurant where I would meet them for breakfast. I left my house on schedule when I got a call from Vince who went out the night before and overslept. He was heading to his parents and would meet me there. So, I get to the restaurant and Vince texts me "Mark...don't kill me...i got home and they have people over...dammit...im sorry i got up so late...but i think they planned this already...ill help u do watever we have to to make sure you get him alone." Who has guests on Saturday at 10 in the morning?! At this point, I'm like "screw it. I'm nearby. I'm going over there." I told Vince to let them know that I'm coming. He apparently didn't realize that I was so close b/c I walked in to hear him say "Mark's said he might stop by." His dad was outside with a friend grafting a cherry tree. So I went in to talk to Vince. I had an alibi in that I had some posters I got from the office when we were cleaning out a drawer. They were some posters from the 80s that we did for an eyeglass client - hilarious, especially the "sport" shades. Mom was in the kitchen with one of her foreign friends. I said I was in the neighborhood so I brought these by for Vince. Her friend commented on how nice they were - not understanding the humor. Her mom offered me cookies and coffee but I said I had to get to cornhole. I went outside to do the deed following Vince. I tripped on the garage door frame - which I've done before Vince chalked it up to nerves. I wasn't nervous - yet. We made small talk with Dad and his friend. The conversation is punctuated by bits of Italian which is fairly common and I typically think that they are just talking about me. Dad's friend went to put something in his car, so I seized the moment and that's when I got nervous. I said something like "Mr. S, I'm going to ask Mariella to marry me and I'd like to ask your permission first." I showed him the ring and he shook my hand and said something like (it helps if you do it with a thick Italian accent) "Mark you know my daughter (pause) and you are old enough that I hope you make the right decisions. You have my permission." Phew. So we made some more idle small talk with his friend who returned from the car. I had to get to cornhole. So I left. When I was driving away, I started thinking about what he said, so I texted Vince to confirm: You're old enough. I hope you're making the right decision. Vince confirmed but assures me that's not exactly what he meant. So regardless it was on.

I had volunteered to help at the Cleveland Cornhole Championships before any of these plans were made. So I went there did my stuff and left - I'll try to post about the event b/c it was rather interesting.

I went to Mariella's house. She had to work in the morning and went to the store afterwards, so I beat her to her house. She came in and I told her that she had to help me with my physical therapy (I hurt my back in February. And started PT on Thursday. Mariella's a PT but she claims, probably correctly, that I wouldn't listen to her directions, so I had to go to someone else.) My therapist had given me sheets with illustrations of the exercises to do and actually recommended that Mariella help me apply overpressure. So I started showing her what exercises I had to do - hamming it up quite a bit. She got mad and said that if I'm not going to do them correctly I shouldn't do them at all because they wouldn't help anything. I assured her I'd try. I showed her the back extensions I had to do on the floor. She said that was better. I said that there's this one I'm not really sure how to do at all. And I got on the floor on my knees and arched my back and stuck one leg out behind me. I said I don't think I'm doing this right. I asked her to look at the sheet (which I had my friend Paul doctor) to and see. She was mad at this point. She didn't immediately see the bit we edited. I got down on one knee got out the ring and asked the question. She said yes. And I'm extremely happy.

Love you, baby.

R.I.P.

Calvert DeForest AKA Larry "Bud" Melman.

Henry the comedian

My 4-year-old nephew sent me this joke:
knock knock
who's there?
banana
banana who?
Banana knock knock

Which reminded me of this internet classic.

A revolution in business-to-business communication

We've got an AAF-Cleveland luncheon today. Our speaker is Wally Snyder, AAF president and CEO. If you worship in the church of advertising, this guy's your pope.

So I figured I couldn't wear my typical promo T-shirt. So, I changed the game with the promotional neck tie.

It's in support of our April speakers, John January and Tug McTighe of American Copywriter Fame.

For centuries, businessmen have been wearing fabric around their neck and unless it's got a Warner Brothers character on it, it's not saying too much. I've finally harnessed it's true marketing potential.

I hope Wally's impressed.

Leo & Screwdrivers

I love tools.

I was surfing toolmonger and read the review of the FatMax Xtreme Demolition Driver Set. I was intrigued when the review claimed that these screwdrivers would withstand things you really shouldn't do with screwdrivers b/c that's the sort of thing I'm always doing. And I really love my FUBAR.

So I decided to add them to my Amazon Wishlist for my approaching 30th birfday. (HINT... HINT...)

The listing seems normal enough:

Then I scrolled down and saw this:

Well, that makes sense. It was a popular movie. But this next bit of the all too eager Amazon up-sale webcode struck me as odd:

So I will enjoy the movie better when I have a screwdriver in hand? Maybe Matt Damon and Mark Wahlberg would be more convincing if I'm wielding a socket set too.

Cornhole

I know this is extremely short notice but the deadline has been extended if you're hoping to play in the Cleveland Cornhole Championships. You have until Thursday (3-22) @ 9 am.

What's cornhole?

Crappy music from the office next door: update

"Life is a highway" Rascal Flatts

Did anyone really have to redo this song?

My neck tattoo

Went to see Joan and Kristen at Mavis Winkle's on St. Pat's Day. Joan gave me a fake Jameson's tattoo. I put it on my neck and Mariella and I went downtown. At least 6 people asked me if it was real and many more looked at me with disgust. I'm so hardcore.