Friday - Worked. Went with the new guys (Mark and Wes) to a bar near our office. I'd been there before. It's a dive but never have I had an experience like this. As we were walking into the establishment some woman asked if any of us were single because she's ready to mingle. We said no and headed inside hoping this would be the end of the interaction with her but it turns out that she's the bartender. The only guy in there was a creepy dude in a cowboy hat. And then a gaggle of girls sauntered in. The bartender told that we were in luck b/c she had strippers there tonite and pointed to the girls - who fit the stripper mold in dress only and seemingly walked the line between hookers and dancers with a large degree of care. We declined and she said, "Why not it's only p****?" Then the bartender mentioned how drunk she was. Wes started a tab with his credit card. The dude in the cowboy hat went and started rubbing the girls' backs. (I told you he was creepy.) The bartender asked again if we wanted lap dances stating again that it's only pussy. She also mentioned that they have "boobs" and "ass." Prince started blaring from the jukebox. Wes ordered us another round. Then asked for the tab. The bartender couldn't find his card which was weird because we seemed to be the only folks paying for drinks. It turns out that it had fallen out of the cash register drawer and into the cash register. It was mildly amusing watching her struggle to put the drawer back in. We cashed out and Wes and I went to meet Steve (another coworker) at a local horsetrack.
At the track, I lost less than $20. I didn't win at all. I typically bet the exacta (meaning I need to pick first and second place.) Worse odds, better pay-off. It was a good time and we got to try potato-crusted hoakie - which the waitress claimed was a fish. It wasn't delicious or even appetizing but it became the joke of the night and probably the month.
Saturday - Went to my favorite store in the world, Marc's to pick up some flowers for our house. It was pretty crowded everyone had the same idea I did apparently. I went inside for various sundries and got into a checkout line. The line was pretty long but the dude working the register was amazing. He was like a flair bartender except he intoxicated people not with alcohol but rather his speedy technique of handling and bagging the wares. Toothpaste went end-over-end into the bag. My strawberries were bagged delicately but with the speed of Mercury. And in series of quick motions. the parcel was double-bagged and landed on the counter. One of the other cashiers called him "Flash." His peach-fuzzed mouth broke into a wide smile at the mention of the nickname that he both earned and loved. It was incredible.
I brought my purchases home and began to work on getting an enormous stump out of our front yard - manually. The thing is at least 2 feet in diameter. I hacked at it for several hours not accomplishing much except to make it look like Mordor from the Lord of the Rings.
Then Lisa and Mike arrived with the boys. Mariella came over and we grilled up some turkey burgers and played some Wii, which Henry is scary good at.
On Sunday, Mariella and I went to our friend Christy's 30th birfday party at some Irish pub and watched the Cavs beat Detroit. (Eat it, D-town!)
Then Monday, was Memorial Day and we went and cooked out over at Grandma's. It was weird because typically we'd go over in the morning with mom for the parade. Dad would've stayed at home working on the flower beds and tomatoes. He would show up just in time for Grandpa to start grilling. I started as Grandpa's grill helper and eventually assumed the role of chef. He'd always comment on what a good cook I was and would tell everyone how well "Marker" had made the burgers. So it was completely weird without Dad and Grandpa.
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