Big fingers. Little keyboard.

Run run run

2009-10-18T18:00:00.004-04:00

So i completed the Columbus half marathon today. I didn't win. But I wasn't dead last. I don't think I'll be doing the full anytime soon. 13.1 miles is plenty for me. I probably didn't train as much as I should have but still did better than I expected.

I knew my dad was a cross country coach but apparently the Szczepanik legacy in distance running ran this deep

Dear Dad,

2009-09-02T20:13:00.003-04:00

Three years since you've been gone. Still seems strange. The holidays are still weird. The armchair in the family room still seems empty. It's even odd going to Indians games without you - although they stink this year. I'm sure we would've gone to some of the promotional games.

We all still wish we had your help with the seemingly endless to-do list. We wish we had your decisiveness. I wish I still had you to call when I need advice. I wish you were here for car shopping and haggling. I wish you were here for Mom.

Mariella and I have been married for more than a year now. I'm continually inspired by Mom. The girls seem to be doing well - making you proud. The grandkids are fun as per usual. I'm taking the boys fishing this weekend - Henry kept asking. I just hope no one gets hooked.

I still run into people that knew you. You had such a huge impact on so many people. It's pretty amazing. So many people miss you - me especially.

We love you always.

Love,
Mark

New fantasy football logo

2009-08-04T22:54:00.001-04:00

Whimper, you cowards!

I know what i'm doing aug 10-16

2009-07-23T07:48:00.000-04:00

The hole my sisters made

2009-04-13T17:12:00.001-04:00

Indiana Henry

2009-04-13T17:11:00.000-04:00

Henry was at great grandma's for a bit on saturday. He took the opportunity to put on a hat and buckskin leather vest. I told him he looked like indiana jones. So he started marching around and singing the theme song. I should've told him he looked like davy crockett b/c I bet he doesn't know that song.

Lambcake kiss you

2009-04-12T19:20:00.001-04:00

Seen in Parma

2009-03-07T21:45:00.000-05:00

Why didn't I think of these?

2009-02-24T22:28:00.002-05:00

Awesome.

Good News!

2009-02-20T19:43:00.001-05:00

I'm famous

2009-02-09T23:33:00.001-05:00

check me out.

Greenville Trip

2009-02-08T19:41:00.002-05:00

I realize I've been bad at blogging in a timely manner. But I have been busy with a number of things. Seems like we've got something to do after work everyday. Add to that our attempts to get to the gym and it's hard to find the time to blog.

A couple of weeks ago, I took a trip to Greenville, SC to judge their ADDY Awards. All in all, it was a pretty good time.

This is the view from one of our host's house. Impressive view.

I wonder what he's a doctor of

2009-01-23T08:09:00.003-05:00

Things Mariella wouldn't let me buy - Episode #452

2009-01-23T08:09:00.001-05:00

Who doesn't need a prayerful frog.

Jesus Chinese Calendar

2009-01-23T07:54:00.001-05:00

I know it's been a while, so I'll make it up to all my readers by cleaning out my photos from the past few months that have been languishing on my cell phone.

This first one is a pic of my new calendar from "toothpick"/the chinese buffett down the street from my office. They always give these out around the holidays. You have several options typically featuring scenes of the chinese countryside. I HAD to get this one. My favorite part is the animals of the chinese zodiac pictured below Him.

Princess Pete

2009-01-23T07:53:00.006-05:00

Saw this set of action figures while shopping at Ollie's. Seemed pretty normal until closer inspection.

The princess seems to be just one of the guys.

Welcome Woods

2009-01-23T07:53:00.005-05:00

I was at Progressive Field the day new reliever Kerry Wood came for a press conference. They welcomed him with this scoreboard message. Can't wait for the tribe to come back.

Canadian Szczepanik hailed as a hero.

2008-12-23T11:59:00.002-05:00

We're good people.

I'm busy

2008-11-24T23:15:00.003-05:00

but apparently not as busy as some of my siblings whose blogposts are way more tardy than my own.

Here's a run-down of what we've been up to.
For Halloween, Mariella and I were a wii remote and a nunchuck (we didn't actually wear the costumes anywhere except to show Grandma.) And frankly, I think I was robbed in my work halloween costume contest. My costume had actually working LED lights but the best of show goes to some guys dressed as Wayne's World? A movie that I think came out before they were born. I've expressed my disdain for movie-themed halloween costumes here before. They were amusing but again, not very original. Nathaniel (a newish guy at work) won a prize for his spot-on LEGO man costume. It was pretty incredible.

I beat the snow in installing a new paver walkway for grandma. It's definitely an improvement over her old sidewalk. Thank goodness Mary and Kristen pitched in and helped or I would've never finished the project in one day.

I continue to be active with AAF-CLE and I'm currently helping recruit judges for this year's ADDY show. And I've added a new organization to my repertoire, The Social Media Club of Cleveland. It seems to be a fun group and I've gotten to meet people I've only previously "knew" through twitter.

We're getting caught up in our annual holiday madness. We had the fam over on Saturday for the OSU/UM game and fried turkey. It was delicious and so were the leftovers. My soup was pretty spectacular if I do say so myself.

That's all for now. I have to get some photos off my phone, so I should post again shortly.

Tight security

2008-11-21T12:29:00.000-05:00

Dear joggers,

2008-11-12T15:18:00.001-05:00

After the leaves have fallen, shirts should be worn.

Thank you,
The mgmt

I hope the Indians make better free agent decisions than this

2008-10-30T17:36:00.004-04:00

So my pumpkin pictured below didn't make it into the finals of the Cleveland Indians Pumpkin Carving Contest but these did?!

What gives? I know I'm biased but seriously?!

Chief Wahoolloween

2008-10-27T23:50:00.003-04:00

Here's the pumpkin I carved for an Indians contest. I may need your vote, if I'm chosen as a finalist.

Car fire

2008-10-14T00:05:00.002-04:00

The plume of black smoke made me believe it was going to be a long commute. I could actually see the flames jumping from the front of the pickup truck as I approached. I arrived about the same time the firetrucks did. And somehow it was my fastest time in at least a month.

Sasha P: a man of the people

2008-10-07T20:59:00.000-04:00

The wife and I were at the Parma Giant Eagle - not the highest class community or grocery store. We were selecting some yogurts and we run into Cavaliers star, Sasha Pavlovic. Can you believe it?! In our Giant Eagle?! Wild! He and his lady friend were shopping for groceries - just like me and my wife!

The best part is when it was time to check out, he didn't rely on his NBA star power to convince the checkout lady to accept expired coupons. Instead he went to the self-checkout aisle and rung up his own groceries (while his girlfriend bagged.) Do you think LeBron would do that or even do his own grocery shopping? That Sasha is one salt-of-the-earth kind of guy.

And as we left, it turns out that we parked nose-to-nose with his giant black Escalade.

Nothing says loving like curtain rods

2008-09-19T00:16:00.003-04:00

Not sure if I've mentioned here, how much I despise Sears Grand. Basically it's the merger of Sears and Kmart with half the selection of either - which means they rarely have anything you need like switchplate covers or mini paint rollers. But if you happen to need some MacGregor sneakers and a Kenmore ice-making refrigerator, it's your store!

But I digress... We've moved Grandma from Maple Hts to Solon and been trying to get her and Uncle Gary set up. I was going over today to install some floor molding and mom called and said she needed two curtain rods. I had already left Home Depot at this point and did not want to go back, so I went to Sears - because it was conveniently located. I was shocked that they had the curtain rods I needed. I proceeded to the check out. The curtain rods were $2.99. So my total came to 6-something. As I was paying the girl asked me if I wanted a gift receipt. I couldn't help but laugh a bit. If I were to give these as a gift wouldn't I get a higher end rod?

The other thing that always shocks me about Sears Grand is they always give you about an arm's length of receipts - there's coupons, survey information and assorted other items on the scroll. Maybe they could lower prices if they didn't have so much overhead caught up in receipt rolls.

But now I know what I'm getting everyone for Xmas this year.

Deli bailout?

2008-09-17T17:37:00.001-04:00

I like this spot

2008-09-17T09:39:00.001-04:00

Apparently it's old, but I just saw it.

Not funny

2008-09-11T16:43:00.001-04:00

Wait, yes it is.

BFLK Wordle

2008-09-09T10:40:00.002-04:00

Interesting results from putting this site into the wordle engine. "Mariella" just beat out "skunk" for popularity.

Dear Dad

2008-09-02T22:43:00.002-04:00

It's been two years since you've been gone. Things have changed a lot in that time. The biggest change being that I'm now married. I'm glad that you had a chance to meet Mariella. We all missed you on the big day. I'm sure you would've loved the party. It was huge and we had beautiful weather.

Mariella has been very understanding and a huge support to me. I'm trying to take care of as much as I can which gets to be a lot sometimes. Although we've pushed her to her limit on taking down wallpaper.

Mariella and I have been getting adjusted to life together. One of the strangest parts is calling someone else "Dad." It's nothing against Mr. Sidoti, it's just odd.

Everyone's been doing as well as can be expected. Mom continues to inspire me with her strength. There seems to be a never-ending mountain of work between our house and the rentals. We've been doing tons of work at the rental house getting it ready for Grandma to move in. Lisa, Mike and the boys have been helpful through everything and have put quite a bit of mileage on their vehicles for our many causes. It was nice seeing Karen and her gang on vacation. Mary continues to be the tough, dependable one. Joan seems to be doing well at work. You'd be proud. Kristen's in Alaska, apparently having a great time. We're all doing okay but would really wish you were still here with us.

Love always,
Mark

I'm buying one of these for each of my brother-in-laws

2008-08-22T08:48:00.003-04:00

Order your own here. There's also a democrat version.

This reminds me of my nephews

2008-08-14T21:44:00.002-04:00

Cristoph Niemann is an illustrator who tells the story of his sons who are infatuated with the New York Subway system. Sounds a bit like Henry and Sammy to me.

Skunked

2008-08-08T13:09:00.002-04:00

We've been trying to catch a skunk in the backyard to no avail. (They keep taking the bait.) But my nephew Sammy is super intrigued by the prospect of catching the skunk and is waiting for video footage of the capture.

I'm going to post this sign to let the skunk know he's welcome and lure him into a false sense of security.

Good Luck

2008-08-06T09:30:00.004-04:00

It's been a long time since I've blogged. I've been extremely busy in every facet of my life. I've been facebooking more. It you aren't on there, you should be.

Here's something from one of my favorite blogs that made me laugh.

This is a cake featured on Cake Wrecks - a blog that looks at cakes that came out horrifically (and often hilariously) bad. Read the story behind how this one came to be.

They're serious

2008-07-19T21:06:00.001-04:00

You probably can't see it but this house had estate sale signs in the front yard as well as a hearse parked out front.

Madonna & a-rod

2008-07-15T12:03:00.000-04:00

Rick and terry got topical at this year's aaf outing.

Happy belated to Sammy and early birthday to Lisa

2008-06-27T14:09:00.003-04:00

I asked this robot to deliver you a cake. Hopefully you got it and he didn't malfunction on the way over.

Joan's new blog

2008-06-27T14:05:00.001-04:00

Joan has fallen prey to sibling pressure and got herself a real live blogspot blog. Read all about her new exciting life as a contributing member of society working for the Cleveland Foodbank. She's making us proud.

Doing my duty

2008-06-16T12:04:00.001-04:00

Jury duty is so much fun. It involves lots of waiting around for them to call your name. Highly exciting. The entire group was briefed on procedures and stuff. The highlight was when they had to do another announcement reminding us not to smoke in the restrooms as the whole building is a non-smoking facility. Seriously?! Someone was smoking in the restroom? What the hell is wrong with people. They were pretty explicit about the not smoking thing in the video.

The video orientation was pretty hilarious. It was about 20 minutes long. 10 of those minutes are spent telling you what a valuable service you are providing to society. Then they tell you how rewarding it can be for you - apparently you can make many lifelong friends with the people you serve with. The closest I've come to a "friend" today was a woman insistent on telling me how delicious her sausage from the food court was "it was right off the grill and greasy!"

The video goes on to tell you about all the waiting you'll be doing. In fact, they show a guy using one of the tables to work on a jigsaw puzzle waiting to be called. I figured it was just for dramatic effect. I mean who even thinks to bring a jigsaw puzzle? I dismissed it as an editorial embellishment but I was looking for a place to set up my computer on some of the counters around here and there's a sign posted reading: Please do not use this counter for puzzles. So maybe I'll bring one in tomorrow.

I need to learn to play my banjo

2008-06-13T10:35:00.001-04:00

Baby Loves Banjo
Originally uploaded by Kamepyon

before we have kids.

I dare you to tell me this doesn't make your heart smile.

A robot for Sammy

2008-06-11T10:45:00.000-04:00

Went to the world of coke museum. It's pretty neat from an advertising perspective. They talk a lot about the marketing advances that the company had made through the years. There's also a 4D movie with a ferret that was pretty dippy. The best part is the 64-flavor tasting room. There's pops from all over the world. Beverly from italy is the worst tasting one in the place. The robot pictured above is a packaging robot. It could pick up bottles, pack them into boxes and even get new boxes to fill. Pretty neat.

Rick as Scarlet

2008-06-10T02:01:00.002-04:00

I think I've discussed Rick here before. He's my friend and mentor from AAF-Cleveland. He's known throughout AAF for his penchant for costumes. They're usually themed to whatever city we're in, so for Atlanta he was Scarlet O'Hare. The best part is the reactions he gets from people not expecting a cross-dressing Executive Director.

The creepiest part of the costume was Rick's chest hair visible through the mesh top of the dress.

I'm back.

2008-06-10T01:46:00.000-04:00

In case you live under a rock and haven't been following my adventures on www.markiella.com, I'm now married and honeymooned. It was a very nice affair all around. So check back often for more bflk antics.

WALKIES!!!

2008-05-06T12:35:00.001-04:00

Don't know if you can see but that's a woman walking her cat on a leash through downtown Cleveland.

Dog tired

2008-04-28T18:42:00.001-04:00

Chloe recovering at home.

It's a family blog

2008-04-28T11:23:00.002-04:00

Created by OnePlusYou
You can let your kids read BFLK, dammit.

One of my pet peeves

2008-04-27T19:01:00.004-04:00

Couples that sit on the same side of the table. Weirdos.

Go cavs: round 1, game 2

2008-04-27T19:00:00.007-04:00

Ricky and vince fired up over the largest cavs's playoff win in franchise history.

New Pornographers

2008-04-27T19:00:00.006-04:00

Tuesday nite Mariella and I went to see the New Pornographers at the Beachland Ballroom. A band called Okkervil River opened for them. They're were pretty good. The N-Pers were great too but Neko Case wasn't with them, so it was a little disappointing.

The six-million dollar dog

2008-04-27T19:00:00.005-04:00

Stupid dog peeking around the corner.

Chloe had been throwing up all last week. We took her to the emergency vet clinic after the Cavs game on Monday nite. Four hours later, we left several hundred dollars poorer and with some pills (that we couldn't get her to take.) She seemed fine for the next couple of days but didn't eat anything all week and started puking again on Thursday. So Mariella took her to the vet on Friday where they repeated the x-rays and the bloodwork. The bloodwork was fine but her stomach looked odd to the vet. So she suggested that we take her to the animal hospital. So on Saturday we spent the better part of the day waiting around an exam room. The vet finally told us that she needed surgery - which isn't cheap. But Chloe pulled through and the surgeon pulled out her stomach: a liter of liquid (a lot for a 12 lb. dog), some string, some hair and some little green bits of plastic. Nothing was getting through past that clog of crap, so it sounds like she's all better now and pound-for-pound the most expensive dog on the planet.

Bachelor party report

2008-04-27T18:59:00.003-04:00

This is the only photo I took. It's of kevin my best man. SIDE NOTE: I don't know why women bring cameras to bachelorette parties. I mean why do you want/need pictures of you with a stripper?

Anyways, we went to Northfield Park where race #3 was the markiell.com bachelor party stakes. We got to have our picture taken with the winning horse and a muddy driver. It was a good time. After the track we went to DePompei's in Beford.

Club seats rule

2008-04-27T18:59:00.001-04:00

Here's the view from my agency's seats. They also come with all-you-can-eat food. And the tribe won.

CNN said so

2008-04-22T12:23:00.002-04:00

They're even selling the shirt.

Awesome indians fan hair

2008-04-12T21:32:00.000-04:00

He's like a lion.

For the ladies

2008-04-12T20:04:00.001-04:00

Grady Sizemore bending over

McCain Girls: Raining McCain

2008-04-09T13:41:00.001-04:00

I don't know who I'm voting for yet. But this makes me not want to vote for McCain. If they're trying to help his cause, they need to stop. Good luck watching the whole thing.

The office

2008-04-05T22:44:00.001-04:00

This is the view from my office looking out. We're getting our windows replaced so they've built this lovely barrier. I think we're going to tag it.

Marc's hijinx

2008-04-05T22:44:00.000-04:00

I re-arranged some lawn gnomes at Marc's to depict a darker scene. Side note: mariella wouldn't let me buy them.

Opening day

2008-04-05T22:43:00.000-04:00

Post and ye shall receive

2008-04-04T17:23:00.001-04:00

Mere seconds after I posted the last entry, Mariella called and says that someone cut down the tree. Hurrah! That means I have time for some of the other stuff I've been meaning to do.

Another thing on my to-do list

2008-04-04T17:15:00.002-04:00

The tree with a serious lean is located on the foreclosed property adjacent (remember the messy backyard photos?) to Mariella's house. It's been leaning more and more since the ground has thawed out. I called the realtor to see who owned the house. He was going to check and get back to me. (He hasn't. Thanks, pal. I think he was upset because he originally thought I wanted to buy it.) Mariella called the city who said they would send someone out. (It doesn't seem that they have.) So I think that maybe something for us to do tomorrow between appointments.

chloe@stupiddog.org

2008-04-04T00:06:00.001-04:00

Incredible Birthday Presents

2008-04-02T12:10:00.008-04:00

Today's my birfday. Making me officially the oldest I've ever been.

I have received a number of awesome presents the first from my bride-to-be Mariella. I've wanted a custom Indians jersey for a long time. And now I have one:

And, yes, I realize that I have the same number as Jackie Robinson, the first player to cross MLB's color barrier and that it's retired throughout all of baseball. It's my birthday 4/2.

From Mom and Joan, I received an astounding piece of environmentally friendly technology

It's a solar-powered, lighted squirrel yard ornament. I've never owned anything so amazing. It harnesses the power of the sun during the day so at night it gives off a warm (and hopefully skunk-repelling beacon of light.) Mariella wants to put in the front yard in hopes that it will be stolen. But it makes me very happy and as it turns out there are other solar animals available for sale. We could have a whole night-time zoo!!!

Wiggle Room

2008-03-27T02:40:00.001-04:00

Here's a commercial I wish I did. Thanks to Ridgill for showing it to me. Hilarious.

Blazer flips it

2008-03-21T08:48:00.004-04:00

We hit 100K this morning. I bought it new on May 11, 2002.

I'm a pasta machine

2008-03-21T08:48:00.002-04:00

Went over mariella's aunt graces to help make macaruna. It's not as hard as pierogis. Basically u take a thin stick and roll the dough around it. Its like making play-doh snakes. Lets hope they're tastier.

WHAT?!

2008-03-17T08:14:00.002-04:00

Celebrity pilots

2008-03-17T08:14:00.001-04:00

On friday mariella and I went to see my buddy, josh's band (he's the drummer) at the beachland ballroom. It was good to get out.

It's not the 'birds year

2008-03-17T08:11:00.004-04:00

I took a halfday on thursday to go see my Chanel Firebirds play in the state final four. Dad and I always went down whenever Chanel made it to the playoffs. Unfortunately Chanel was seriously outgunned. The other team was loaded with shooters who couldn't miss a three.

But it wasn't all a loss as I got to hang out with CJ and his family. Here's CJ's son James. Who as it turns out, really LOVES popcorn.

Spontaneous Musical

2008-03-14T11:11:00.001-04:00

This improv troupe put on a musical right in the middle of a mall's food court. It's pretty good.

I made Sports Center

2008-03-10T09:35:00.003-04:00

As previously posted, I was at the Cavs game against the Pacers on Saturday, in spite of a blizzard. That's me in the red circle. The seats were great.

2008-03-08T20:43:00.003-05:00

Here's the duct tape totem pole that I made for mom's right to read week. It came out pretty good for a saturday's worth of work.

Maybe my next ride

2008-03-08T20:43:00.001-05:00

The toyota FJ Cruiser looks like a tonka truck I played with as a kid and might be my next vehicle. Sorry environment but this weekend's weather showed us all the value of 4WD.

Devil's poultry

2008-03-08T20:42:00.003-05:00

Here's Satan's chicken.

The ADDY Awards

2008-03-08T20:42:00.002-05:00

We had the ADDY awards last friday. The theme was boxing. This was the stage. It was a great event.

2008-03-08T20:31:00.001-05:00

I got some amazing cavs tix today. Albert and I were two rows behind the cavs bench. It was pretty darn cool. And we got free chalupas because the cavs scored 100 points. And they won.

If you think my office is messy

2008-02-26T17:41:00.002-05:00

you ought to see John Lionti's. And now you can.

John is an art director that works here at the agency with me. His office is the stuff of legends. It's a creative disaster, but I still hold that he is one of the most organized people here. He can pretty much find anything in his office.

He recently entered myfax.com's Messy Office Contest and was selected as one of the semi-finalists. Go vote for his office now. He stands to win $10,000.

Go Walleye!

2008-02-24T19:04:00.004-05:00

Many of you know that I lived in Toledo for a couple of years and up until the beginning of this month I was a property owner there. Well, that's all behind us now but I like to keep up with the happenings in Ohio's Wild West.

The Toledo Mud Hens (the minor league baseball) team is founding a new minor league hockey team and an arena football team and they're lookinf for names. Apparently, they opened it up to the public. I'm actually a big fan of the new name for the hockey team - The Walleye. The logo's pretty cool - complete with a blacked-out tooth.

Well apparently there was some controversy surrounding one of the other names that they trademarked, supposedly for the football team - The Woodpeckers. By itself an okay, somewhat colorful name, right? Well here's my favorite quote about from the article about the naming:

"If we could push rewind, we would not have registered 'Peckers' and 'Peckerheads.'"

Nice.

Weight Loss Update

2008-02-17T22:37:00.002-05:00

I hit the 20 lb. mark today. (22.1 if you're counting at home).

Mariella's actually ahead but there's been some scale discrepancy that has us wondering.

Hiatus explained

2008-02-17T22:32:00.002-05:00

I've been MIA and here's why. My blog is called "Big fingers. Little keyboard." b/c I typically blog from my phone. Well I "upgraded." I was kicking the Treo 650. And I went up to the Treo 700wx. It's a long story as to why - involving another Mark from work and tradeshows. But anyways, I'm still getting used to it and as of now I can't text pictures. I can email them. But can't text. There are a number of details like this that I'm still trying to figure out. So, I'll try to be more consistent.

Home & Garden Show

2008-02-11T20:11:00.002-05:00

Mariella, Mom and myself went to the Home and Garden Show a while back. I made them pose in this deserted booth. The chef is a mannequin.

Also at A.J. Wright

2008-01-30T00:32:00.002-05:00

Tupac kicks. I nearly bought them. I might still.

Million Dollar Shoes

2008-01-30T00:32:00.001-05:00

Don't know if I blogged this, but Mariella bought me a pair of these for Christmas from A.J. Wright (the poor man's T.J. Maxx.) They're totally awesome. I get comments everytime I wear them - some are even compliments.

I was at A.J.Wright today and ironically they're now on clearance.

Shopping with the ladies

2008-01-26T18:58:00.001-05:00

Mom needed a new dress for the wedding, so I suggested that we go to The Winner in Sharon, PA - "The world's largest off-price fashion store."

My family has been there before. I believe with were originally drawn there by Reyer's "The world's largest shoe store." Sharon is the land of Superlatives apparently.

It's only about an hour and 20 minutes away, so I figured it would be a good, short trip. Mom, Grandma and Mary joined me on this adventure. We got there easy enough. Mom was showing off her phones GPS capabilities.

Upon arrival, I kept with our tradition of taking a stupid picture of Mary in front of any monument we could find. Our conversation usually goes like this (spoken in our own patented, dopey, faux-enthusiastic tone):

MARK: Oh boy, Mary, do you want your picture in front of _____________?

MARY: Sure.

With that out of the way we got down to shopping. We saw this mannequin on the way in.

Unfortunately the photo doesn't truly depict the terrifying nature of the wig.

Inside, you are greeted by matching golden lion statues on either side of the door. Tasteful wasn't on The Winner designer's checklist. Directly in front of you is a beautiful vintage Jaguar convertible. I tried to convince Mary to get in for a picture but she was chicken. It was a bit peculiar because there was a Club (anti-theft device in the back seat.) I found that odd because (a) it wasn't being used and (b) why would you need one in a display vehicle inside of a women's fashion store? If you don't notice a ne'er-do-well hotwiring your car besides the rack of pantsuits, I'm guessing he's not going to be able to get it out the front door without you noticing.

The winner is 3 floors of dresses (and bizarre native American sculptures) There's a bank of 3 elevators. One of the elevators is staffed by an employee b/c as we later learned it could only be operated from the inside. I guess most men don't find the place as interesting as me which is why there's a Men's Lounge.

Notive the keg-r-ator, the popcorn machine and the rack of clubs for sale. I was intrigued enough to do an internet search at home that revealed that The Club is made by Winner International. So their business model revolves around off-price women's fashion and manual automotive security devices. The men's lounge also contained some guy reading a newspaper, a bench that looked as though it were a refurbished church pew, a space heater and a TV (I think it actually had knobs.) I didn't partake in any of the refreshments. I did find it odd that the men's lounge was on the first floor yet the men's restroom was on the 3rd floor.

On a side note: There are signs posted throughout the winner that cameras and picture taken are strictly prohibited, so the following images are highly illegal. Enjoy.

A number of the dresses made Mary and Mom thankful that Mariella doesn't enjoy big sequins.

If your wedding theme is Chipotle burrito or Hershey Kisses, I suggest you shop the Winner.

Mom and Grandma both found very nice dresses and we stopped to eat at Nico and Lou's Coney Island restaurant, located conveniently next-door to the Winner. We popped into Reyer's and learned that if their being the largest shoe store in the world doesn't apparently translate into volume discounts. They was some pricey kicks.

Amusing artist

2008-01-25T17:20:00.000-05:00

Lilly McElroy does some pretty funny work. She has one project where she literally throws herself at men. The pictures are rather interesting.

I also enjoy her video work. There's one where she draws a square in chalk on the ground on some city street and guards the territory. Eventually a pedestrian begins to help her police the space. And some of the interactions she has with the public are really great. In another piece she hugs strangers on the street.

I think she might be related to my family because she has another video that's her and some other girl trading punches on a sofa. It's called "one for one" and seems like something Mary and I would do when we got bored.

Awesome hats found at Marc's

2008-01-25T00:22:00.001-05:00

We didn't buy them.

Things that went wrong in Duluth

2008-01-20T19:58:00.001-05:00

Our hosts tell us that we were staying in the newest hotel in Duluth. We later learned that they were wrong. There is in fact a newer hotel.

The first time I went to the front desk was because I couldn't figure out how to turn on the bathroom lights. There was a switch directly outside of the bathroom that didn't do anything. I later learned that you have to turn on the two switches by the room's door in order to activate the electricity for the rest of the room. There was no sign explaining this procedure. That's fine but why would you put the light switch for the bathroom outside of the bathroom? Had that been the case when we were vacationing as a family I can only imagine how many times we would've turned the lights on and off to annoy the person using "the facilities."

The second time I contacted the front desk was b/c my message light was on. The Sheraton has this tremendously annoying voicemail system that you need to set up before retrieving your messages. That took about 5 minutes to get through and then I pressed 1 to listen to my messages as I was directed. And the recording said "To leave a message press 1..." So I called the receptionist. No one really knew where I was staying so I wasn't expecting any messages. She said, "That's a new one. I've never heard of that happening." And that was as helpful as she could be. So for the rest of the weekend my message light flashed.

The Sheraton also has this lovely soap in the bathroom. It's delightful. It smells like mangoes or kiwis or something. And apparently it's packaged to survive nuclear attacks, because it took me about 5 minutes of pulling and gnawing to get the damn thing open. I finally did and was whisked away to a steamy lavender (or maybe it was sandalwood) holiday. One of the other judges admitted that he too had to open it with his teeth because he hadn't packed his tin snips.

The best part was that it's a fairly sizable bar of soap and it would take me several weeks to use the whole thing but I returned to my room to find an entirely new bar in its ironclad package.

The people in Duluth were lovely enough although we didn't really do much except judge and eat and look at a lift bridge from several angles. In fact, they gave each of the judges a gift basket of Duluth treats. One of the gifts was a jar of spaghetti sauce from a restaurant called Grandma's. Not thinking I packed it into my carry-on (I had no choice as I didn't want to check baggage for a four-airport adventure.)

Just a note to any would-be terrorists: don't even think about trying to get through security at Duluth International Airport. They were really excited to see my out of state ID. They even pulled out a manual to make sure my Ohio license was authentic right down to the hologram placement. They also ensured there would be no weapons of pasta destruction by making me throw away my gift of sauce. My computer bag got tagged for an additional search. I love the question "is there anything sharp in here that will cut me?" Do you mean besides the rabid badger I keep with my laptop? They found a small sample sized aerosol can of axe deodorant that I had managed to unknowingly smuggle through 3 airports on the way into town, but you can be damn sure it wasn't coming home with me. To add to this joy consider all of this was going down at 5am and I didn't sleep much because I kept waking up to check the clock to ensure I wouldn't be stranded in Duluth.

The Minneapolis Airport was even better because I had to repeat my two-tram-ride-terminal-hoping adventure and once again go through security. I got tagged again for a bag search but this time it was my clothes bag that contained my non-threatening gifts. The guy searching my bag, judging by his accent was fresh to America. I didn't understand a lot of what he said. He did ask me if there was liquid in my bag. I told him no and he said there was. I said, "No, there's not."

He said, "They said there is."

"I packed it myself and there's no liquid."

My bag was neatly packed but not for long. He kept pulling items out. He held up the bag of bread mix that my hosts have given me and asked what it was.

"Bread mix." He didn't understand. "It's flour, to make bread," I explained.

He kept feeling the bottom of the bag for dampness but found only linguine (another gift.) He made a half-hearted attempt to put it back together and then left it for me to figure out. My gate number totally summed up my feelings for the whole air travel situation.

The view from my Duluth hotel room.

2008-01-19T16:18:00.001-05:00

That's Lake Superior and the bridge that serves as Duluth's local landmark. You might notice steam coming off the water. With the wind chill it got 41 below 0. Brrrr.

Terror Alert: Orange. Annoyance Alert: Red

2008-01-19T15:50:00.001-05:00

So, I'm in duluth, MN to judge their ADDY show. I booked my flight a while ago on midwest airlines. I was originally scheduled to go from cleveland to milwaukee to duluth but the airline decided to stop flying to duluth. so my trip went from cleveland to milwaukee to minnesota to duluth. that's 4 airports in one day. my last leg had me switch carriers and terminals in minnesota. so I had to go through security twice. which is the pinnacle of annoying in the winter. I needed 5 of those bins for all my stuff. it's only one degree in duluth so I had a number of layers.
and could airport security be more of a waste of time? does anyone feel safer? three ounces of hair gel is ok but four ounces and I'm taking down a plane. it's insane.

hotel room learnings

2008-01-19T15:50:00.000-05:00

aquamarine is the worst movie ever. seriously.

What is wrong with people?

2008-01-14T20:59:00.001-05:00

Alright, so a teacher from my high school (the same school that my father spent 40 years working tirelessly at) has been arrested on charges of unlawful sexual conduct with a minor, illegal use of minor in nudity oriented material, sexual battery and pandering obscenity with minors. Fantastic. He wasn't teaching there when I went to school there.

This has me going through a whole range of emotions, mostly anger though. The alleged actions of this teacher have put a black mark on the entire school community. A school that myself and my five sisters graduated from. A CATHOLIC school. A school that my dad dedicated his life to. A school where many of the teachers have been at for decades. The story was on every news channel in Cleveland and I assume will continue to be thanks to the salacious content.

Details of the accusations haven't been released yet but how the hell can a teacher get into that situation and think nothing will happen? Then again the man hasn't been proven guilty yet. But event has already damaged the school's image. There had to be something that wasn't kosher to even warrant these charges.

The Diocese of Cleveland might want to reconsider their media plan. Notice the ad that popped up at the bottom of the TV stations website containing the article about the incident:

Punching Terrorists in the Face

2008-01-10T13:15:00.001-05:00

I bought these boxing gloves at Marc's for $4.99. If you're wondering what the hell I'm going to do with them, you're fairly normal. I got them because our ADDY awards theme is boxing this year. And I'm debating getting the Apollo Creed trunks to match for when I make my opening remarks. Pretty patriotic, right? Wrong!

Here's the fairly amusing warning label. Note that they can't withstand the power of adults and the hotmail address of the state-side distributor. Also of note is the fact that they're made in I.R.O.P. aka the Islamic Republic of Pakistan. I've probably just gone on some FBI watchlist as a result of my closeout find.

The what the hell were they thinking/bad taste award goes to

2008-01-09T17:14:00.000-05:00

Some Italian casket maker for their annual girly calendar. Enjoy this year's edition here. From here you can peruse past years and find gems like my personal favorite Miss September 2005:

What the hell is this?!

From the looks of the site, they are an actual company that makes some fine looking caskets and some questionable calendars.

Go LeCavs!

2008-01-09T01:41:00.001-05:00

The Cavs seem to be playing much better of late - then again, they are playing the NBA cellar dwellers. But Mariella, myself, Vince, Carli, Kev, Jill, Mary and Joan saw them beat the Hawks last week.

My favorite part was when they had an on-court promotion and the prizes awarded were an oil-change and an 84-month battery. Jill pointed out that they could've just said 7 years but that's marketing for you. I was really hoping to win some wiper blades myself.

Family Portrait Fun

2008-01-09T01:15:00.001-05:00

While everyone was in town for the holidays, we went to have our family portrait taken. It started out pretty civil and quickly went south.

We learned that if Sammy really likes his top button to be buttoned. He'll hold that collar closed if he has to.

Zeke is kind of scared of our entire family (me in particular) and kept wandering off or screaming if we wouldn't let him.

Henry lost his patience with the whole ordeal.

It got pretty funny when the photographer went all art school on us and wanted a shot of the family lounging in front of a white background.

This might actually be the best shot of Zeke from the whole shoot and it was sheer luck. Mary was throwing him in the air and this is him descending.

$9.99 Shoe Palace

2008-01-09T01:12:00.001-05:00

If we lose weight at our Monday weigh-ins, Mariella and I "cheat" by rewarding ourselves with Chipotle. And I typically "punish" Mariella by making her go to the Parmatown Marc's. On the walk to Marc's you'll pass the poorly named "$9.99 Shoe Palace."

Weight Loss Update

2008-01-09T01:06:00.000-05:00

Over Christmas, I put on 3.4 pounds. Which when I stop and think about it is not super bad. I actually weighed the same thing on Monday this week, which kind of shocked me. I was pretty sure I had put on weight thanks to eating at Michael Symon's Lolita's on NYE, at Mariella's parents on New Year's Day and various and sundry other locations.

It's really hard to count points when I'm not at work. So my total weight loss is 16.4 lbs. Which is good but I was a mere .2 lbs away from the 20 lb. mark. So I've got some making up to do.

No time for bloggin'

2008-01-09T01:01:00.003-05:00

Holidays, blah, blah, blah. It's been busy. So get ready for a post bonanza. Hopefully it's enough to pacify Jill when she's goofing off at work.

Merry Christmas from the Tribe

2008-01-09T01:01:00.001-05:00

A few days before Christmas, I had an AAF event at the Terrace Club inside Jacob's Field. Someone had put a small tree up at 2nd base.

It was the first time I've been inside the Club. It would be awesome to watch a game from in there.